I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
