yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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