awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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