i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize