I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
