if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
