remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
