How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
