if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
