Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
