oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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