They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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