matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
