Just fell off a train. Bad.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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