Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
