It's Friday. Sex?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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