Got a toothbrush?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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