I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
