walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
