fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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