So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you are never too drunk for berry picking
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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