For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
