HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
grandma shit on top of the toilet
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
