awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
