Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The uberlube is also flammable
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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