At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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