By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
my poor anus
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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