so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
