In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
