I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize