I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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