Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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