she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
