afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
