I am spending my child support on dildos
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
