come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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