i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
