Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
