Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
