i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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