Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
