You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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