how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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