ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
