Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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