My hand turned me down
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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