may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize