SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
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I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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