who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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