ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
