is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
