I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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