Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
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Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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