Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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