A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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