Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
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I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize