I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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